Love and Happiness with a Mental Illness

67

By Luminaria

Those of us with a mental illness have a tendency to love to much or to little. We haven't learned how to truly find the happiness that we deserve instead we always settle for what we get or what we feel we deserve. They tell us to love ourself, but those of us with a mental illness rarely have the strength to love ourselves, let alone someone else. So where do we find the strength?

I've finally (let me rephrase that, "i think I've finally") learned the answer on how to love myself. Repetition! By giving myself self talks and learning to believe in what I'm telling myself I have learned to love myself for the first time in my life. It was a very long and very hard process, but I was able to do it when I had NO faith in myself.

I know many of you are saying; "that's you, not all of us can do that."

Stop doubting and start believing in yourself. You are all better then that! Don't live in your disease, don't live in your past, and never forget your better then all those put together.
The way we go about getting our mind to think things over and over is by repeating things to yourself that are meaningful and encouraging. Find something to tell yourself a few times a day, the trick though is not to make negative comments, have negative thoughts, or do negative actions.

Yes I know it's hard not to do these things while we have a mental illness but we have to overcome it at some point, otherwise how do we expect to start to feel better?

No one is better at destroying our relationships then us. We either love to much or love to little, yet we hang on to what we got because we feel that we can't get anything better then what we currently have. When we do have a great relationship, those of us with a mental illness self destruct, ruining what possibly could have been the best relationship we have ever found. I know, I destroyed 2 wonderful relationships where I always felt they wanted something better then me because I had no self esteem and didn't think either of them truly loved me.
Find strength in yourself to do the right thing; if your in a crappy relationship and your only holding on because you think you can't get anything better or if your self destructing please do the right thing and inform the person your with what is going on with you then you might just be surprised at their reaction.

Take pride in yourself and what you do. Learn to love yourself and you'll see the difference in how your mind works. You'll start to feel pride and joy in your actions and thoughts. You'll have strength to believe in yourself. Be repetitious in your thoughts, positive thinking, and your actions. Be positive!

Start small, make lists and hang them up where you'll see them, look in the mirror and tell yourself truthful amazing things about yourself, find something that is a constant bright spot in your life, spend time looking up at the stars.

There are a million ways that you can start to feel better about yourself, the choice is to find one that makes you happy. Start pleasing yourself, not everyone else.....

Comments

jdavis88 profile image

jdavis88 Level 1 Commenter 17 months ago

tough situation, and an encouraging hub, good job!

cathylynn99 profile image

cathylynn99 Level 4 Commenter 17 months ago

my husband and i are both schizophrenic. we both work and have a great relationship. i suggest you look into the "recovery" movement. folks are no longer defined by their illness or at least needn't be.

a book, "the self-esteem companion" by mckay, fanning, et al helped me with the low self-esteem i had from being raised by an alcoholic father. your self-affirmations are a good way to start.

Luminaria profile image

Luminaria Hub Author 17 months ago

Hi Cathylynn,

Thank you for your comments. I am actually a part of the recovery movement and work as a Peer Support Specialist. I had written that a while back and found the need to want to put it here only last night. But I will def look into the book you suggested. Thank you! Lori

Jdavis88,

Thank you for your comment.

diva1972 profile image

diva1972 17 months ago

Living with a mental illness for 24 years doing something repetitive doesn't always work. I started programs made a resource binder for providers and consumers and I know for myself doing something over and over is boring to certain people some mentall ill consumers that are very high functioning and have to be challenged. It is daily struggle and sometimes you just don't feel like fighting!!! If you want check out A bipolar's life

Luminaria profile image

Luminaria Hub Author 17 months ago

Diva1972,

Thank you for your comment. Yes I know what a struggle it is. I have personally lived with a mental illness 30 plus years myself, including bipolar. I know what works for some doesn't always work for others, but it never hurts to try something new. I fight daily to get up and do my schooling or to go to work, knowing that I really don't want to. I will check out A Bipolar's Life. Thank You for suggesting it. Lori

Ruby H Rose profile image

Ruby H Rose Level 5 Commenter 13 months ago

Thanks for a voice for us surviving a mentally ill life, thanks for the encouragement and understanding. Keeping positive thoughts is a challenge worth the reward, repetition for sure.

jasper420 profile image

jasper420 Level 3 Commenter 2 months ago

Thankyou for sharing your voice! I suffer from Bipolar disoder and found your hub to be very usefull and well put!

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